


Hey, give me a hand (or an arm)!

by wannabuyahotcat



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, sans really wanted that mars bar, vending machines are evil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 23:52:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11520159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannabuyahotcat/pseuds/wannabuyahotcat
Summary: Sans gets his arm stuck in a vending machine, and your boss calls you over to get him free. It's not like you were about to head home for the day or anything..





	Hey, give me a hand (or an arm)!

When the call came over your radio, you weren't sure what you expected. Some poor S.O.B had gotten his arm jammed up into one of the vending machines. Well, it was certainly something new. Usually people just vandalised the stupid things and left you to clean up the mess afterwards, their paid for treat hanging just out of their grasp. Seems like this person had been desperate to try and reach for it, and was now paying the price.

You put away your mop and bucket, grabbing your beat up toolbox and sighing to yourself. It was almost the end of your shift, so hopefully it would be a quick rescue with no need to call the firefighters or anything. God, the paperwork was already starting to make you inwardly cringe, and you hadn't even left your office.

Being a janitor in a shopping mall wasn't where you thought you would be back when you left college.. Hell, It wasn't that it payed badly, quite the opposite. It was just tiring having to deal with people, and the messes they left behind.

You pulled your radio from your belt, huffing before you pressed the button. "Yeah, I'm on my way. West wing, right?"

After you got confirmation, you trudged off to rescue this poor soul. What some people wouldn't do for their sugar fix.

***

You heard him before you saw him and he seemed to be verbally tearing strips off your boss.

Heh, you wished you could do that. Guess you could live vicariously though this guy for a few seconds at least.

When you turned the corner to where the vending machines and ATMs were all lined up, you couldn't hide the smile on your face.

This poor skeleton monster had his arm wedged right up into the machine, his face nearly pressed against it. He did not look like a happy camper, and you didn't blame him. Your boss spotted you first, waving you over nervously.

"Oh, you're here already. Reckon you can get him out?"

The monster stared right at you, his sharp teeth bared. "hey, fuckin' help me already!"

"Now, now. No need for vulgarity, man. I'll see what I can do."

You put your tools down and clambered down onto your knees next to him, trying to work out an angle to fish his arm out. His arm bones were actually caught against one of the metal spirals that held the treats in place. That was going to be an issue.

You could try pushing him in further, but you doubted he would agree to that. You could try picking him up and opening the door a bit to reach in yourself, but what if you pulled his arm? This was a definite puzzle. Heh, then again your boss would probably be more upset if you harmed the machine.

"Look, man.." You started, reaching over to jiggle his arm a bit, testing the waters. He let out a low growl. Was he in pain? Or just didn't like to be touched. "You've gotten yourself in a dilly of a pickle here. Your bones are looped around one of the metal rings in there. I dunno how I'm gonna be able to get you out without breaking anything. You or the box."

His sharp eyelights seemed to shrink at your statement. "yeah, fuck that! ya breakin' the machine, not my fuckin' arm!"

"That's my plan. However, Mr wears-a-business-suit-to-run-a-mall over there would prefer the other way around."

The trapped monster let out a rough snort. "heh, yeah, an hows 'e gonna like it when i'm suing 'im for everythin' 'e's worth?"

"You do that and he might cut my paycheck. What about little old me?" You chuckled, getting him to relax a little next to you. "I'm not gonna hurt you. If anything I wanna smash this thing up a little. It's held on to my snacks more than once."

You sat for a little bit, still trying to formulate an attack plan when the monster cleared his throat.

"uh, was' ya name?"

You looked down at his face pressed against the glass and metal. His cheeks were oddly soft for a skeleton.

"Oh, uh, ______. Yours?"

"sans."

You tried the flap below him again, pushing your arm in to reach his. Nope, still not budging. You were aware that in this position, his face was wedged smack dab in your tits. Hey, at least he wasn't complaining.

"Ugh. Fuck me.."

"buy me dinna' first, kitten."

Why was that so funny to you? You cracked up, getting looks from your boss who was still standing off to the side. Your laughter seemed to perk Sans up a little, the smile falling as his arm started to slide further down onto the hook.

"uh.. tha's no good, ey.."

You shook your head. "No. No it's not.. Fuckit, I'm gonna have to take the window out. If it was glass, then this would be so much easier. Bloody perspex making things hard."

"i'll tell ya 'bout summat hard.."

"You get slapped by women a lot, don't you."

"how'd ya know?" He shot you a toothy grin.

Your boss was not going to like your plan, but it was the best bet. You'd have to break out the perspex and unhook him before you could maneuver his arm out safely.

"I'll be right back. Hang in the- Uh, I mean.. Yeah, hang in there, man."

At least his mood had lightened, even laughing at your little quip as you went to deliver the bad news to your boss.

"Hey, Greg? I worked out a way to get him out, but..."

***

You dropped a thick blanket you had found over Sans, ignoring his complaints as you picked up the biggest claw hammer you had handy. You should probably try hitting it with the claw end first, then go from there. The perspex was pretty thick, so it was going to put up a fight.

"You okay down there?"

A growl answered you. "do i fuckin' look okay?"

"I don't know. You're covered by a blanket, dude."

He seemed to shut up, after muttering to himself. "smartass.."

You readied yourself to strike, anxiousness pouring off both your boss, and the guy below you.

With the hardest hit you could manage, you planted the hammer right in with a loud thud and crack. The spiders of cracks running from the impact spot were almost pretty. "Aha! It worked!"

"tha's great, bu' could we hurry this up.. please?"

Oh, so he did have manners. "Yeah, yeah. Keep your pants on."

You pulled the hammer out, smashing it against the plastic again, and again, until there was a hole big enough to get your arm through.

You could just reach his arm. Enough to be able to work it away from the metal trapping it. With your free hand you pulled the blanket away, watching with amusement as he blinked, getting used to the bright lights again.

"'bout fuckin' time!"

You slowly unhooked the bones of his forearm from where they were trapped, pushing his whole arm down as he winced. With a few more gentle pushes and some coaxing, he was finally free.

He pulled his arm out of the flap, examining it before looking up at you. "heh, thanks babe."

"Don't worry about it, just doing my job. Try not to get your arm stuck in any more vending machines, okay man?"

Your boss had left to go do paperwork, leaving you and the monster standing there awkwardly. You picked up your toolbox, stuffing the hammer back inside before you had an idea. He had already started to walk away, so you called him back. "Hey, Sans?"

He looked back. "Yeah, wassup?"

Using the hole you had made, you reached in and grabbed the Mars Bar that was hanging from it's wrapper. You pulled it out and threw it to him with a wink.

When he caught it, he smiled up at you. "heh, yer a swell chick. thanks."

"Hey, you paid for it. Might as well get it, especially after all the trouble you went to."

He unwrapped it, eating the whole thing in one go, before giving you a thumbs up and disappearing. Well, that was something you don't see everyday.

Now that was all over with, you could finally pack up and go home.

Well, at least there wouldn't be too much paperwork waiting for you tomorrow.

You hoped.

**Author's Note:**

> I just had to. :3
> 
> ([Tumblr](https://wannabuyahotcat.tumblr.com/))


End file.
